her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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