Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
