some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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