You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
third nipple confirmed
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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