we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize