Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize