if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
After last night, I could never be a politician.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
