it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
