Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
