I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
