he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
