A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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