you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i wish my penis had a tongue
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
