i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
