Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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