filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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