please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
