talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
