i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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