We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
