Screwed.edu
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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