OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize