well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
