my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize