I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
