...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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