and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
