so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
