in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
