Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
