Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
What a dumb baby whore.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
