Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize