Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Randomize
