He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
