Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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