Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Drunk is a universal language darling
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