It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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