is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
