idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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