I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
