I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
