Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
