I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
