hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
