I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
