pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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