i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
