Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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