She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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