At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
