Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
