low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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