her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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