You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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