I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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