Welp...herpes.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
