Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
