maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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