I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
