I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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