is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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