Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
As shirtless as possible
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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