i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
