You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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