she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she told me i tasted like america
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
