If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i think i have two assholes
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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