don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
