So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Randomize
